Tributes to Lawyers and Other Jokes

"I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters."
~ John Keats

“I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.”
~ Will Rogers

“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
~ Stephen Wright

"99% of lawyers give all the rest a bad name."
~ Anonymous

“If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers”
~ Charles Dickens

"A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns."
~ Mario Puzo

“A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.”
~ Mark Twain

“Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.”
~ H. L.  Mencken.

“Woe to you lawyers also! for you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers.
~Jesus Christ